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Amazing Aliens Rap
The escape pod narcicisse floats lonely through space
when it drifts into the place of a deep salvage bass
"bio readouts are all on the green looks like shes alive"
"well, there goes our salvage guys"
Shes sent to gateway station, in hospital for weeks
"side effects of such an unusualy long hypersleep"
company man burke confirms all her fears
"you were out there for 57 years"
when she feels better she has to go to court
about blowing up the nostromo & they alien she fought
in space no-one can her you scream,
at least that was the case with riplyes last team
no-one believes her & ripley is shocked
"because i blew it out of the goddam air lock"
when theyre condecending ripley lets her temper fly
"you can just kiss all that goodbye"
van lewin finds her guilty, confines her to the station
for 6 months probation & physche evaluation
the alien planet is occupied apparently
a mining colony with "maybe 70 families"
a few months later the company is in a fix
"weve lost contact with LV426"
why this could be, the company is none the wiser
"i would like you there as an advisor"
Riply says no but it comes as no shock though
we she decides to go on the ship Sulaco
although shes new she joins crew
& they all wake up in their cryo tube
hypersleep dont appeal but its part of the deal
"you look just like i feel"
Apones more effective than any alarm
"day on the marine cores like a day on the farm"
"what you want me to do, fetch your slippers" & hudson replies
"would you sir i like that" "look into my eye"
Vasquaz does more push ups than anyone can
"have you ever been mistaken for a man"
they all get ready & go to have lunch
"new leitenants to good to eat with the rest of us grunts"
Bishop does his knife trick as fast as he can
hudson says "it wasnt funny man"
The robot bishop offers Ripley a plate
"stay away from me bishop you got that straight"
Theyre on a bug hunt theres no doubt about it
"how do i get out of this chickenshit outfit"
vasquez makes lite of the deaths of her crew
"i hope your right, i really do"
by six am he wants the preparations done & clear
"assholes & elbows, hudson come here"
theres an empty power loader & riply gets on it
to show off in front off hicks she says "where do you want it"
they pose with their smart guns, the mission's way easy
then they pour through the door & board the apc
inside the drop ship the armoured car parks
& ferros about to blast off "on my mark"
not one to frown hudsons acting a clown
"were on express elavator to hell, going down"
the drop ship dives but ferro keeps them all alive
"were in the pipe five by five"
they get there quick to LV426
Apone says "somebody wake up Hicks"
the drop ship lands the apc is manned
then they jump out as planned & the landscape is scanned
they inspect the first deck, their checks are assertive
as they expect the complex is deserted
rain from above comes down in a flood
holes burnt by the aliens "acid for blood"
in medlab are a parasites to see
"looks lie love at first sight to me"
an alert is heard from the motion tracker
but its a little girl & they all go to catch her
she dives down a shoot but ripleys in pursuit
after a brief dispute she becomes the new recruit
the girl is cute but appears to be mute
but they get down to the root "my name is newt"
they scan for personal data information
& find them at the atmosphere procossing station
Apone brings up the rear & they have no fear
they pack up their gear, the colonists are near
"whats that private?" the image isnt clear
"dont ask me man, i only work here"
Ripley spots an immediate danger
"arnt they under the heat exchangers?"
"apone, we cant have any firing in there"
"is that asshole crazy" they dont think its fair
Thats when they find the colonists cocooned in the wall
"weve got a live one" they hear deitrich call
"kill me" blood sprays her vest
& a baby alien burst from her chest
they wipe out the alien with a torrent of flame
theyve got themselves to blame, the motion tracker goes insane
"maybe they dont show on infrared at all"
but detrich out of them all is the first to fall
with detrich lost next goes frost
& the ammunition goes off at terrible cost
"werzbowski & crowe are down" its all gone wrong
"jesus christ apone what is going on"
but this is the end of the seargents career
"the sarge is gone get the fuck out of here"
theyve taken & knock & their all in shock
but vasquaz at last has a blast "lets rock"
"get them out of there do it now"
but a rescue is something gorman will not allow
ripley takes charge after strpping all the crew in
"ripley what the hell are you doin"
she drives to the site to clean up this mess
& crashes through the wall of the alien nest
theres no time for greiving those that arnt breathing
"Marines we are leaving"
As they bring up the rear vasquez makes a mistake
& a flood of acid blood gets the face of poor drake
they try to close the door but hear a deep hiss
Hicks grabs his shotgun & shouts "eat this"
then riply speeds away, escaping the monsters
a box falls from where its stored knocking Gorman unconcious
An alien drops on top but is knocked from the ride
& at last they crash fast through the blast doors outside.
Hicks gets her to stop by saying "ease down"
then they patch themselves up & throw some ideas around
Riply isnt daunted so she gets things sorted
"we take off & nuke the entire site from orbit"
the dropships on its way, of this theyre assured
although ferro didnt know about the alien onboard
with the pilot gone the ship collides with a boulder
& releif turns to alarm for ripley & the soldiers
The Apc & drop ship go super nova
"game over man game over"
so they decide to get indoors, listening to newt closely
"they mostly come out at night, mostly"
after the marines annihalition they head back to operations
to forify the station from more alien invasion
they stockpile the weapons & collect up all the rations
& Ripley checks the company log to find out how this happened
it was burke being a jerk that made this situation for them
"you sent them there burke & you didnt even warn them
Bishop calls a meeting, with everyone attending
"there it is emergency venting"
The main cooling tower was ruptured during the battle earlier on
the place was going to explode & they didnt have long
someone would have to go to the uplink tower
to remote pilot the drop ship within the next hour
Bishop voulenteered when nobody in the group did
"i may be synthetic but im not stupid"
so they open up a tunnel & bishop gets inside
but it'll take a while to get there cos it isnt very wide
then riply goes for a nap with newt on the floor
but when she wakes up she has a shock it store
somebody came in & set the facehuggers free
then locked the labs door so ripley couldnt flee
Ripley waves to camera hoping they will be seen
but Burke slyly turns of the monitor screen
the guns in the other room now but they just cant make it
"break the glass, break it break it"
the windows wont break but riply uses her head
& sets off the fire alarm instead
Thats when a facehugger jumps from up top
she throws it away but it cannot be stopped
Newt starts screaming hoping hicks will find her
but doesnt notice a facehugger sneaking up behind her
thats when the marines arrive & hicks jumps through the glass
hudson pushes newt aside shooting the facehugger fast
the rest of them gather round to try & save riply
they pull the parasite off her & take it out quickly
she struggles to talk as her throat is still hurt
"burke, it was burke"
they get back to operations & start giving burke hell
hudson says "your dog meat pal"
"alright we waste him" the mood has gone sour
but then the lights go out Ripley says "they cut the power"
then the motion trackers go off, theres movement in the hall
so they seal up the doors & back against the wall
"that cant be, thats inside the room"
so hicks gets in the ceiling & illuminates the gloom
the aliens drop down & fight the situations dire
& burke makes his escape while the marines all open fire
the blocks the barricade as their banging ong thedoor
comes face to face with another xenomorphe
the marines are outnumbered while hudsons settling the score
they come from underneath him & pull him through the floor
Vasquez welds the door but i doesnt look like it will last
"whatever your doing do it fast"
with the exit sealed behind them it looks like they are stuck
but theyre in luck, newt leads them down the air ducts
Hicks asks bishop how long until hes finished
"ETA 16 minutes"
vasquez bring up the rear as the aliens attack
but acid from an alien puts her on her back
Gorman goes to help her but then comes the unexpected
when an alien bursts up through the floor & blocks the only exit
they get out some grenades & finish the job of for them
& vasquezs last words "you always were an asshole gorman"
the other 3 escape newts hit by the blast
& she slips through ripleys grasp down a ventilation shaft
They are spurned on now by the tracker alert
but when they make it to the lift, hicks gets hurt
they have to take off his armour as the acid disintigrates it
the ripley has to carry him, doesnt look like he will make it
Ripley gets him to the drop ship but puts bishop on the spot
she wants to rescue newt "werenot leaving " "were not?"
she loads up all the guns & prepares to go & save her
using the personal locater that hicks had gave her
she goes to sub level 3 despite bishops insistance
"15 minurtes to reach minimum safe distance"
she'll follow newts signal until she is found
but thats when she finds the wristband on the ground
Newt starts screaming , & luckily ripley hears her
& blast the face hugger before it can get near her
she picks up newt gently without being seen
but then accidentally backs into the queen
the queen sees that ripley is armed to the teeth
so she calls off her gaurds & lets ripley retreat
she just about out without the aliens harrassing
but then an egg opens & ripley starts blasting
Ripley goes mental & who can blame her
she shoots everything in sight destroying the egg chamber
after wasting all her ammo, which would be handy later
she then escapes with newt to the nearest elavator
but the launchpad is empty of drop ship & crew
"bishop ,goddamn you"
the lift opens up the queens managed to find her
then bishop & drop ship appear behind her
they jump on the ramp & are chased by the queen
the ships caught on debris but then it breaks free
they fly off as the complex melts down below them
& the drop ship is rocked by a thermo nucluer explosion
they get back safe bishops told he did great
the artificial person is finaly her mate
but they failed bishops implaed right up to the hilt
hes ripped in half spewing blood like a fountain of milk
"here" says ripley & runs to the door
to distract the queen while newt hides in the floor
The queen gets frustrated with newt escaping
withouut hesitating starts ripping up the grating
but before much waiting, ripley comes straight in
armed with a power loader & a class 2 rating
newts trapped in a ditch screaming high pitch
"get away from her you bitch"
Ripleys now rock & cleans the queens clock
who gets knocked across the dock over to the airlock
but without a pause the queen grabs her with her claws
& they fall with some force on the loading bay doors
Ripleys first up & quickly climbs the ladder
the queens pinned down but still manages to grab her
but ripley isnt done she activates the controls
& sucks the queen Alien right out of the hole
she flies into space & now shes been disposed
ripley pushes the button & makes sure that the loading bays closed
although bishops torn in half hes still friendly too them
he gurgles "not bad for a human"
they all get in their cryo tubes after defeating the queen
newt is finally safe & says " can i dream"
so they all go to hypersleep & head to earth with speed
but these few survivors future would be very dark indeed
Mysteriously some eggs have ended up on board
facehuggers make their way to where the cryo tubes are stored
an electrical fire is started by acid
& the pods are ejected because the damage is massive
newt drowns in her cryo tube cos they crash in the sea
& hicks dies on impact, impaled by a beam
Bishop is smashed beyond repair
& ripley is forced to shave off her hair
but worst of all it turns out that the bitch is back
the planets prisoner population is propmtly attacked
they have no weapons so riply uses her head
& boils the alien till its dead in hot lead instead
the company comes looking but before they can find her
ripleys kills herself, she had an alien inside her
if you thought this story went a funny direction
wait till you see alien ressurection
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